She wrote that she felt “like a girl trapped in a boy’s body” and had done so “ever since [she] was 4.”
Leelah said: “When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was.”
But she felt she was isolated from society by her Christian family and said she was not given consent to transition on her 16th birthday, which “absolutely broke [her] heart.”
At the end of her letter she included this plea:
My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s fucked up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.
Leelah had some advice for parents of transgender teens and children.
She begged them to never tell their child that being transgender is “a phase,” “that God doesn’t make mistakes,” or that they can never truly be the gender they feel they are.
If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.
She included this request for her will:
I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don’t give a shit which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better.
Leelah’s mother posted this on Facebook.
The post was initially made public, but Carla Wood Alcorn’s Facebook has since been set to private and the post apparently deleted.
Later on Tuesday, another queued post from Leelah appeared on her Tumblr, titled “SORRY,” in which she issued a series of apologies to friends and family. But to her mother and father, she wrote, “Fuck you. You can’t just control other people like that.”
And now for my sorry notes to some people I knew…
Amanda: You are going to have such a wonderful life. You are the most talented and pretty little girl I’ve ever met and I love you so much, Amanda. Please don’t be sad. I’m going to miss you so very much. I love you.
Tiffany: We haven’t talked much recently since we’re both so busy but I’m so happy you’re my sister. You are so courageous and determined to achieve what you want, you can accomplish anything. I love you.
Justin: We’ve been jerks to each other a lot recently but I really do love you. You get on my nerves almost all the time but no matter what a part of me will always love you. Sorry for picking on you so much when we were kids.
Rylan: I’m so sorry I’m never there for you. I love you so much.
Abby: Thank you for dealing with my pathetic problems, all I did was make your life harder and I’m sorry.
Mom and Dad: Fuck you. You can’t just control other people like that. That’s messed up.
I don’t really feel the need to apologize to anyone else… odds are you didn’t give a shit about me and if you do, you did something that made me feel like shit and you don’t deserve an apology.
Also, anyone who says something like “I wish I got to know him better” or “I wish I treated him better” gets a punch in the nose.
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or depression there are resources for help:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Transgender Lifeline (USA): +187 756 588 60
Samaritans (UK): 08457 90 90 90
Suicide Prevention (Aus): 13 11 14