Tag Archives: Bully

Two Brave Transmen Speak Out

The following letter is written by Nathaniel Joseph in regards to the blogger/vlogger known as “Dirt”. His letter was deleted from her blogger.com blog “The dirt from Dirt”. We are posting his letter here, since we at TQ Nation promote being visible, taking a stand, having a voice and not falling prey to the fear of silence.

The type of hate mongering you display breaks my heart. The reality is that an overwhelming majority of the LGB community loathe us. It’s crazy how intolerance and hate can come from those who experience it themselves. So much of this seemingly comes from your own insecurities and fears about your gender and sex being invalidated. Transmen are not implying that butch females are Trans or desire to be male (or are male in our cases). We are not saying that you aren’t valid and beautiful in your own gender and sex. Many of us adore butch dykes for great reason. Your prejudice frustrates me to no end! It’s beyond me as to why you care so much about our lives and bodies.

The intolerance and prejudice that you show Transmen is the same intolerance and prejudice that heterosexuals show you as a butch dyke. If you are cis gender and butch be proud and speak your truth; I will defend you until my dying day, but don’t try and tell me what my truth is. There is a time that I prayed everyday for years not to be Trans, because I had found a way to be accepted as a butch dyke who championed for butch females. I knew that my being Trans wouldn’t be accepted in the same way. But I couldn’t ignore it, and like so many, tried to end my life because this burden was so painful. We all know this isn’t an easy road, and wouldn’t choose it if we indeed had a choice (sound familiar Ma’am?).

Our haters think that being Trans is just something we jump into because we are uneducated or easily influenced. This is real! Transsexuals have existed as long as humans have. You, and your disciples, perceive transitioning as trendy because people are more public about it now. How many people think they don’t know Trans folk? The overwhelming majority. We know the reality is that they probably do, they just aren’t aware of them. It’s akin to the heteronormative labeling homosexuality a trend; gays have existed as long as humans have too! And, as with Trans people, the gays stopped hiding it as much and stood up for their civil and human rights (as they should!). There aren’t any more homosexual’s today than there were in the days of forced closets (which I realize still exist for many people).

Furthermore, how dare you generalize me and my brothers as misogynistic and anti-feminist! Does it exist in our community? Yes. But, it also exists amongst cis gender females and lesbians. And in both cases, I assure you, we as a community do not tolerate it. We were socialized female, many of us fought a long side you and will continue to do so. We understand the plight of being female in a patriarchal society with a vengeance towards women. We aren’t weak. We didn’t wake up one day and simply decided it’d be easier to fight as Transmen than Butch women, that is absurd. We live and fight in queer communities, as queers ourselves. Moreover, all your arguments leave out gay Transmen, Transmen who identified as Femme lesbians prior to transition, Transmen who identified as straight prior to transition, and those of us who were over 25 when we started transitioning. It is also apparent that you have disdain for heterosexuals, men, and well any non-lesbian. Yes, many have and do commit acts of hate upon us, but degrading them for their inherent sexuality and/or sex and gender is the same as them doing it to you!

Lastly, I am sickened by your McCarthy hearing, witch hunt exploits. Slapping picture of Transmen across your blog in line up form to gawk and spew hatred at is juvenile, appalling and slimey. If someone wants to do this to Butch Dykes to point and laugh at their bodies is it okay with you? You disgust me Ma’am! At this point, I am so angry and disgusted by your hate that I cannot set aside my pain and rage to be able to sway you any longer. You are just another illustration of how hate can invade even the minority and “liberal mind set.” We did not betray you, we honored ourselves.

Next, is an email I received from Elliott L.

So, I was bored and I went to the beginning of the whole “I hate transpeople and all men in any way shape or form” blogger’s blog and I think perhaps she was somehow friends or friends of friends or maybe involved with the lady whom got murdered from the butchfemme.com community by her trans lover.. Of course, that one link that the person gave you (which was the first link I saw to “Dirt”s blog) mentioned that transmen rape and murder people (which really – what social circle doesn’t have a few rapists and/or murderers? Which, is sad, but true.) So, being as bored as I was I read up on that, and while reading this “Dirt” person’s blog, there’s a lot of links between “Dirt” and people that BrainyFemme (the lady who was murdered) was friends with or talked to and “Dirt”.

Kind of interesting, though probably useless information – I guess what I am trying to say here is – Yes, this “Dirt” person probably disliked trans people from the start, but I think that maybe the possibility of her being friends with the person who was murdered by her FTM husband was something that made her start spewing extra hate. So maybe the reason she thinks we all suck is because one single and uncommon event sparked a catalyst?

For the GLBTQQAAII community, it seems that even though we’re all fighting to end society’s hate upon us there’s a ton of inner hate within the community as well and it seems to never really be issued or it’s denied.

So; in essence we’re fighting outer hate, while being bashed and drowned down by inner hate by the umbrella of the GLBTQQAAII community (not only trans people, but all sub groups of the umbrella community) which is then taken a bit lower by sub group hate (trans people saying other trans people are not trans enough or bisexuals not being gay or straight enough or lesbians not being butch or femme enough or whatever) so really, it comes down to this: As a community, we’re all killing ourselves by not really understanding that there’s no true definition of sexuality or gender; yes there’s an “average” but it seems that a lot of people like to think that they know what the definition is.

Sorry for this whole weird word vomit but it seemed interesting and I had something to say in the beginning. lol. I GUESS what I am trying to say is – Do you think there’s a way that we as a community, can stop trying to define things and start trying to live upon the basis of everyone’s different and whatever works; works – and what works for one may not work for another one? And maybe perhaps try to get all communities under the GLBTQQAAII type thing to band together and stop hating on eachother so damn much?

Not necessarily asking you for the true solution – seeing that it’s a problem I think just one person or a few people would have too much of a burden to fix by their lonesome – but I guess it’s something to muse and think upon mayhaps?

 

Post your comments, thoughts & concerns…

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Filed under Spout Out, Support, Transitioning

EXPOSING “The dirt from Dirt”


Recently, a link was sent to me and I then discovered a blog on Blogger.com called “The dirt from Dirt” (dirtywhiteboi67.blogspot.com). Usually, I can read people’s opinions without feeling the need to post an official TQ “spout out”; however, when the blog is derived from a “Butch Lesbian”, a member of the LGBT community, and is overflowing with HATE for the FTM community, I could not be silent.

I was informed this person (who remains anonymous and refers to themselves as “Dirt” – how suiting), “tracks and attacks” those who come against her. I am taking a stand against this and using my rights exactly the same as her: my freedom of speech. If she chooses to attack me, it will certainly not be the first, nor last time in my life. Those who choose to attack others are factually known to be some of the most insecure human beings around. Psychological evidence proves that you put down others to feel better about yourself.

Dirt’s blog could have potentially been good. It appears her intention is to inform the butches out there not to join the “Trans Fad”. She doesn’t want them to fall victim to “peer pressure” and make a life-altering decision that will leave them changed in many irreversible ways. She lists mostly the cons of transitioning, yet some of it is insightful information.

Personally, I can vouch for not “pushing” or “pressuring” people into being FTM. I do see it as a major life decision and know there actually are some people who were butch lesbians, then started to transition and then stopped. The FLIP side of this is that Dirt fails to mention the many FTM’s that might not be here today if they did not have the capability to transition. Our community is flooded with suicide, just look at the recent news reports. Being transgender is very difficult for many, especially when facing potential family, relationship and job loss among others. It takes great courage for those of us who have known we were in the incorrect body for our entire life to correct it. We are not left unsatisfied and unfulfilled. We GAIN happiness and feelings of WHOLENESS that bridge the gap that once was in our hearts and soul. I do feel if a person has any doubt, they should speak to a LGBT-friendly professional to gain insight on their internal questions prior to pursuing any hormones or surgery.

Where does she go wrong? MANY ways.

I will focus my attention on a few key points.

First of all, she makes it clear it is a personal blog, not an open forum and pretty much makes it clear she will not allow certain comments. One transman, in particular, notified me that she had used his photo without his permission and when he left a comment, she deleted his comment and did not allow it to be posted.

I am not going to delete comments on this post. I encourage comments and feel we do all have the right and freedom to express ourselves, despite our differences in opinion.

I do not feel Dirt should use photos of transmen without their permission, even if they are on the internet. Especially in her posts that display a group of 9 photos showing “This Weekend’s Who is Transitioning” with her added words of, “All the young women here are injecting synthetic testosterone and some have had their breast hacked off their female bodies.”

I do not condone disrespect from anyone, especially someone within the LGBT community. The lesbians that refuse to respect people enough to call them by their preferred pronoun, truly is unsettling. They sometimes try to brush it off that they “don’t get it” or they are just “old-school”, but to me it’s interesting how these women who want to be recognized and respected for who they are refuse to pay the same respect to another.

In another post on FTM Buck Angel, Dirt refers to Angel as “she” and “woman”.

It saddens me that this individual does not follow the “Golden Rule” and actually has people who condone and enable her behavior.

To me, her dark cloud is similar to that of the dreaded, Fred Phelps.

Dirt makes it also clear she is NOT part of our community, but we are a part of hers. I can tell that truly upsets her.

She IS part of the community as a whole which does include the “T” for Transgender, and all she is doing is displaying the HATE our community does not tolerate and fights against. She is discriminating people that should be considered her family, people that have faced enough ridicule, the same as she has being a butch woman. Dirt is a BULLY. The kind that helped end the lives of so many of our brothers and sisters, except this BULLY comes from within our walls. She enjoys the satisfaction of trying to discredit and put down the minority within the minority.

The way she refers to transmen is out of pure hatred. I would say “ignorance”, but she has done enough research to be informed and educated enough on trans issues.

She has her main post which is entitled, “An Open Letter to the Trans Community” and suggests us read it prior to making a comment. Obviously, the blog is not intended for the trans community.

She wants to point out that transmen are ashamed of their female bodies and how she is truly a proud butch woman and it must scare us to hear that someone can appear to look “male” yet embrace their “womanhood”. In the same token, I wonder if she has ever thought of it reversed? How a transman is proud of being an FTM and how it might scare a butch woman to hear that. This is not a competition. I can only hope we can all be proud of who we are and be respected for whatever it is.

If she is wanting a blog that represents butch women for who they are, so be it, but remove all the jabs directed at the transmen. I feel she is outraged that butch women have even fallen within the category of transmen. To me, there is no comparison. Butch women are not transmen. Sure, some transmen were once butch women and Dirt should accept that fact and reality.

In another post, she basically tries to emphasize the fact that once on “T”, many transmen turn to sexual encounters with gay men while still having a committed relationship with a femme woman. She points out how they can contract HIV and then pass it on. She then concludes that lesbians will not want transmen and straight women will never be truly fulfilled by a transman, so they end up with gay “tops” who will be with whatever.

This is highly offensive. I personally know MANY transmen and only a small handful are gay men. Even still, why does their sexual orientation get hated on? I do NOT promote infidelity in a relationship with anyone, especially if they are engaged in un-safe sex and keeping it from their partner. Yet Dirt, is trying to stereotype transmen in the same way people stereotype lesbians and make “U-Haul” jokes, or with gay men never being faithful. We are NOT all one in the same.

Dirt’s URL says “dirtywhiteboi”. I think that speaks for itself.

Now, I am going to post several comments by other transmen (and one transwoman) on Dirt’s blog (since they were unable to comment on her blog):

Dirt is a hate-filled so-and-so who posts pictures of transmen on her blog in order to ridicule them. She thinks that transmen are just butches who hate and/or are ashamed of themselves and mutilate themselves with surgery/testosterone. She is a real piece of work, a crazy-a$$ piece of work. Also, she tracks the IPs of people who access her blog, so I’d be careful going to it or linking to it. – M

It’s gut wrenching. I came across this and could barely get through one post. She is hateful. Pure hate, to the core. It could very well be that she is hiding her own trans issues but who knows. It’s scary to think what kind of damage she is doing. It’s people/blogs like this that leave young people feeling suicide is the only option. I wish there was something we, as a community could do to stop her but, sadly, I don’t know what we could do other than report her to Blogger/YouTube etc. – A

I found this very offensive. Not in being anti-T, but being so accusatory and insulting. There is a difference between not trusting T, and insulting or using fear on those who do want this option. This is so hate-filled and this person seems to have no true understanding of what it means to be trans. I am afraid that young trans individuals will read this and be scared of admitting to themselves who they truly are, and deciding for themselves what steps to take. Obviously T is not the only option, but it is a safe option when done under doctor’s supervision. The one aspect that really showed me that this person does not understand what it means to be trans, was on the “symptom” list stating that T would “make it so you see a stranger in the mirror”. No, you start to see the person you truly are, right now I see a stranger in the mirror. She exaggerates and even makes up possible risks and symptoms of hormone therapy and rails against transgender people in a very demeaning way. Either this person is in severe denial, or really has some problems. This post worries me, it’s extremely offensive. – L

I’m hurt after reading this. It amazes me how people will be as harsh as they can be with their words and post anonymously. There are no words to describe how I feel. – B

She never mentioned the fact that “real” transmen are truly born in the wrong body… and that WE truly believe/KNOW we are male. The side effects she speaks of “we” as MEN are willing to live with, because they are the same as a bio male, which we should have been born with anyways! I could argue every point she makes about T and the effects on a female body, because I AM NOT FEMALE! – M

I hear all the time “Oh you have to realize that some people never will use male names or pronouns with you but that doesn’t mean you should be angry at them.” I am angry at people who can’t respect me. I correct people a few times, because, well there is an adjustment I realize that, but then I tell someone that I won’t respond to the wrong name or pronoun…and its worked before…over a long period of time. – D

One way we can put an end to the sickening Bully that calls themselves “Dirt” (dirtywhiteboi67.blogspot.com). It specifically states in the site’s “blogger policy” that “material that promotes hatred toward groups based on race or ethnic origin, religion, disability, gender, age, veteran status, or sexual orientation/gender identity is not allowed on Blogger.” Therefore the user is in violation of the terms and agreement and should be brought to the site’s attention as soon as possible. This can be done by following this link to report this directly to blogger.com. If we all band together, we can silence this Bully once and for all. – A

I hope as a community we CAN come together and do something about this. There is no need for a HATE blog to come from inside our LGBT walls that should be SAFE. Please do your part and report Dirt’s blog on Blogger.com.

Written by: Tristan Skye


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Filed under Spout Out, Support, Transitioning