Category Archives: Support

Need a Mom to Talk To? Ally Moms = Amazing Women Across the World Helping Trans Youth

we-love-mom-beautiful-mother-hd-wallpaperWe are a group of moms who have come together because we have a transgender child. We live all across the United States, Canada and the UK. Our children are different ages and at different stages along their journeys. Some are just beginning to transition, some are living authentically as adults already. We come from different backgrounds and none of us have actually met (yet). What we have in common is an unconditional LOVE for our children. We are allies to the transgender community.

Many of you out there do not have the support you so richly deserve. As “Ally Moms” we have lots of LOVE and understanding to go around. Do you need a friendly ear to just listen? Do you just want to ask a question or say “hello?” It is so important to us that anyone who is transitioning or thinking about coming out has the tools they need. What we can offer is a kind word, a loving, virtual hug, or perhaps a suggestion or two. We will not judge.

Here are the guidelines for reaching out to an Ally Mom:

If you are experiencing a true emergency, please CALL 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. Or call the Transgender Crisis Hotline in the U.S. 877-565-8860 or in Canada 877-330-6366. The Trevor Project is also a great resource for anyone contemplating suicide: 866-488-7386.

Text one of us before calling; identify who you are and use the phrase “Ally Mom” so we know the nature of the call. Indicate if you prefer to text or would like a voice call.

You will get a text or call back. Here is the link to the Ally Moms list.

If you don’t get a call back within the hour, feel free to try another Ally Mom. As a courtesy, please let the first Mom know that you’ve connected with someone else so they can delete the request.

Remember, we are not therapists, medical doctors or trained crisis counselors. We are moms who are allies. We are opening our hearts to be there when we can when your own mom can not or is not there for whatever reason.

We were mentioned in Yahoo News also.


Leave a comment

Filed under Family, Support

A Transgender 17-Year-Old Left A Suicide Note On Tumblr Pleading “Fix Society”

Leelah Alcorn wrote: “Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better.”

Leelah Alcorn, a 17-year-old transgender girl from Kings Mills, Ohio, died on Dec. 28. A suicide note appeared on her Tumblr later that same day.

She had scheduled the letter to be published after her death.

Leelah Alcorn, a 17-year-old transgender girl from Kings Mills, Ohio, died on Dec. 28. A suicide note appeared on her Tumblr later that same day.

She wrote that she felt “like a girl trapped in a boy’s body” and had done so “ever since [she] was 4.”

Leelah said: “When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was.”

But she felt she was isolated from society by her Christian family and said she was not given consent to transition on her 16th birthday, which “absolutely broke [her] heart.”

At the end of her letter she included this plea:

My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s fucked up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.

Leelah had some advice for parents of transgender teens and children.

She begged them to never tell their child that being transgender is “a phase,” “that God doesn’t make mistakes,” or that they can never truly be the gender they feel they are.

If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.

She included this request for her will:

I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don’t give a shit which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better.

Leelah’s mother posted this on Facebook.

Leelah's mother posted this on Facebook.

The post was initially made public, but Carla Wood Alcorn’s Facebook has since been set to private and the post apparently deleted.

Later on Tuesday, another queued post from Leelah appeared on her Tumblr, titled “SORRY,” in which she issued a series of apologies to friends and family. But to her mother and father, she wrote, “Fuck you. You can’t just control other people like that.”

And now for my sorry notes to some people I knew…

Amanda: You are going to have such a wonderful life. You are the most talented and pretty little girl I’ve ever met and I love you so much, Amanda. Please don’t be sad. I’m going to miss you so very much. I love you.

Tiffany: We haven’t talked much recently since we’re both so busy but I’m so happy you’re my sister. You are so courageous and determined to achieve what you want, you can accomplish anything. I love you.

Justin: We’ve been jerks to each other a lot recently but I really do love you. You get on my nerves almost all the time but no matter what a part of me will always love you. Sorry for picking on you so much when we were kids.

Rylan: I’m so sorry I’m never there for you. I love you so much.

Abby: Thank you for dealing with my pathetic problems, all I did was make your life harder and I’m sorry.

Mom and Dad: Fuck you. You can’t just control other people like that. That’s messed up.

I don’t really feel the need to apologize to anyone else… odds are you didn’t give a shit about me and if you do, you did something that made me feel like shit and you don’t deserve an apology.

Also, anyone who says something like “I wish I got to know him better” or “I wish I treated him better” gets a punch in the nose.

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or depression there are resources for help:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Transgender Lifeline (USA): +187 756 588 60

Samaritans (UK): 08457 90 90 90

Suicide Prevention (Aus): 13 11 14


Original article Buzzfeed:

1 Comment

Filed under Support

What is DHT and Why Does it Play a Devastating Role in Hair Loss?

Transgender Woman Reverses Hair Loss – results after 8 months.

Science and countless studies have proven that hair loss is commonly caused thanks to an enzyme in the body that converts testosterone into something called DiHydro Testosterone, or DHT. Often, people suffering with hair loss are found to have increased levels of DHT within their body and scalp According to a WebMD article, “Hair follicles sensitive to DHT begin to miniaturize, shortening the lifespan of each hair follicle affected. Eventually, these affected follicles stop producing cosmetically acceptable hair.” Hair loss, thinning and receding hairlines caused by DHT can affect both MTF (usually not on hormones) and FTM (on testosterone).

This proven information has drastically changed the way that medical professionals viewed hair loss, and is the reasoning behind a powerful hair loss solution I found called Profollica. After trying numerous products, I finally found one I personally stand by. I have even had friends, both MTF and FTM, who have tested the product and are beyond happy with their results, which typically appear between 3-6 months. Profollica is all-natural, clinically proven and doctor approved.

Because of the fact that DHT contributes to the slowing down of the hair growth phase, the natural ingredients within Profollica are aimed at inhibiting DHT and allowing your scalp to battle back against the harmful effects that the hormone can have on your hair. DHT can force hair to lose its color, become more brittle, and fall out much faster than it usually would based on aging alone. Reducing the levels of DHT in the scalp has now been proven to be one of the very best ways to prevent hair loss and stimulate hair re-growth. According to Paulina Nelega, MLT, RH, “Dihydrotestosterone or DHT is widely accepted to be the main cause of hair loss, as a great percentage (95 percent) of cases of hair loss are caused by Dihydrotestosterone (DHT) production in the follicle of hair.”

While there are other hair loss products that aim at inhibiting DHT levels in the scalp, most of them are either overly expensive, unproven, full of harmful chemicals, or require a doctor’s visit and a prescription in order to purchase. That is where Profollica also proved to be the best choice for me. It contains only all-natural ingredients, is incredibly affordable when compared to other products, and has been proven to bring about positive results when it comes to the health of your hair and reversing hair loss.

DHT does not allow you to stimulate new hair growth and you have to connect with the receptors within your hair follicles to reduce DHT levels in your body overall. Most other promises made by other hair loss products can often prove simply to be a waste of time and money. Trust me!

Trans Man after using product for 6 months.

Trans Man after using product for 6 months.

The potent and natural ingredients of Profollica target the unwanted DHT in your scalp and improve the overall health of your follicles. While it may seem like genetics are to blame for your lack of hair, that doesn’t have to be the case. You now have the opportunity to take control of your head, your scalp, and your hair, and gain back your confidence. Plus, you can take off the hat or the wig! Bonus.

Profollica also has zero side effects. It’s truly a win-win and I give it an A+.


Written by: Tristan Skye


Filed under Medical, Research, Support, Transitioning

Pennsylvania Transgender Teen Commits Suicide by Stepping in Front of Train

Riley Moscatel - 17 year old transgender suicide victim

Riley Moscatel – 17 year old transgender suicide victim

First off, this should NOT be happening!!!

A whopping 41% of people who are transgender or gender-nonconforming have attempted suicide sometime in their lives, nearly nine times the national average, according to a sweeping survey released three years ago.

BREAKING NEWS: A suicide note left behind by a Pennsylvania transgender teen hints at depression and being “a prisoner” of his body.

“My mirror reflects Jessica, my heart and mind say Riley,” wrote Riley Moscatel, 17, on Tuesday just before he was killed by an oncoming Amtrak train near Croyden. “You see me as the happiest person in school, I’m a prisoner of my own body.”

Surveillance footage confirmed the suspicion that the Bucks County Technical High School senior born as Jessica took his own life at about 1:30 p.m. after fighting a private, but desperate struggle to identify as Riley.

The teen struggled with depression years before he decided to publicly self-identify as Riley earlier this year. However, in an interview with the Trentonian newspaper, his parents continued to reference him as their daughter.

“She did a really good job of masking her depression in front of the people that she loved,” his father, Rich Moscatel told the newspaper. “We’re still kicking ourselves as to what was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She was dealing with a lot of pressures.”

Riley had no problem adjusting from Jessica to Riley at his Fairless Hills school where other transgender or gay students attended including his friend, Kate Cimino, who described Riley as “everyone’s best friend.”

“Even though everyone showed support and called him Riley, it didn’t match up to what he felt of himself,” Cimino told the Philadelphia Inquirer.

Riley wanted to have breast surgery, but his mother, Kristine Moscatel, gave him a binder to help flatten his chest even though she admits his transition was hard to handle after having a daughter for 17 years.

“She’s my daughter. She’ll always be my daughter,” Moscatel told the Trentonian. “We were trying to accept and never said, ‘No, you can’t be a boy.’”

Riley had also been researching hormone treatments he could begin after his 18th birthday in December.

“If I could choose if I was born a girl or guy I would have chosen a guy,” Riley wrote in another Instagram post describing his female-to-male dysphoria. “Most female-to-males wouldn’t agree because (their) journey made them stronger, but it really takes a toll on me.”

Suicide attempts are higher among transgender people and stem from feelings of not belonging or burdening family members, the Inquirer reported.

His father said Riley had insecurities about starting his senior year and about going to college, but didn’t realize what would happen after a quick phone call on Tuesday.

Riley seemed happy and even giggled on the phone to say their family’s new dishwasher was shipped to their home.

Riley put his house key under the mat and went for a walk after that.

“The rest is the rest,” Rich Moscatel said. “She didn’t give anyone a chance to talk her off the ledge.”

For those in need of help, call 1-800-273-TALK for the National Suicide Prevention Line.

1 Comment

Filed under Spout Out, Support

The TQ Takeover! Important Message.

Hello friends and family,

I want to personally extend my gratitude for you being on TQ Nation. As most of you have noticed, I took a huge step (leap) backwards a couple of years ago. I was dealing with some personal, family issues and did not have the ability to stay at full capacity with my work in the community.

Over those years, I grew more into myself than all of the years prior combined. I am happy to say that today I am in the best place I have ever been. I had some healing to go through and some of that process involved TQ Nation. This site exploded with growth when I had my ex wife by my side (2008-2010) and when she pulled back from the community (2011) and eventually we divorced (2012), I believe a part of me associated TQ Nation with her. Then I realized this site has nothing to do with her or any one person. It is a community.

I created this website in Sept. of 2007 as a new trans guy who was absolutely clueless and didn’t know where to begin. I hoped someone would log on and tell me how to put on a binder! A couple of friends signed up to make me feel better and now today we have over 13,000 citizens internationally. Can I just say….what?!?!? Incredible. Totally mind-boggling.

So, why the TQ Takeover? It’s more of a TQ Take-back. The main point of TQ Nation is actually to SAVE LIVES. Yes, that is correct. We lose too many people because they don’t have a place to belong, anyone to talk to, nobody to relate to. They hate their bodies and feel lost and alone. Truly, the only part of them they want to die is the gender they don’t associate with…yet, some kill all of themselves. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN ANY LONGER.

I’m going to start focusing on suicide prevention within our community. You will see some changes in the near future.


Thanks again for being beautiful and living your truth!

Tristan Skye

Founder/President of TQ Nation


Visit TQ Nation at:


Leave a comment

Filed under Support

The Superhero Within Us All

Superhero WithinToday, we’re going to get deep. I’m going to take you on a journey into the hidden corridors of your mind. I want you to find your inner superhero.


Our thoughts are more powerful than most people realize. Some of you have probably seen and/or read “The Secret” and are familiar with the Law of Attraction. Basically, what we think about is what we manifest in our own lives. Hence the concept, you are the architect of your destiny. EVERYTHING is energy. EVERYTHING has vibrations of that energy.

I grew up being told, “Be careful what you say because you can speak things into existence.” I agree 100% with this statement and perception. What you think about yourself, others, your environment, your circumstances…you are either manifesting positive or negative energy about these things.

What you believe about yourself…is true. Basically, if you believe you are attractive, witty, intelligent, a great cook, a terrific lover…then, that is how you will be perceived by others. You will send out this positive energy and vibrations and that is what will be received and sent back to you. This only works if you TRULY believe these things. On the reverse side, if you think you are unattractive and point out your flaws, compare yourself to others, focus on everything negative in your life…you are sending out negative energy and vibrations and that is what will be received and sent back to you. Never mind what is, imagine it the way you want it to be so that your vibration is a match to your desire.

Thoughts Become Things. What You Feel Now Is What You’re Going To Attract.

Something that hit me one day that was profound is that you cannot control what thoughts enter your mind, but you have control whether or not you choose to entertain those thoughts.

“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.” – Albert Einstein


To test this theory, I want you to spend one entire day pushing out negative thoughts and energy and see how people react to you and how your day goes. You may notice the traffic is worse, you have a huge pimple on the end of your nose, your boss yells at you and your cat decided your plant was the litter box. The following day, I want you to enforce and believe your world is great and your are greatness that radiates positive light and energy into the universe around you. See the difference in how people react to you and the series of events that occur that day. I even encourage you to leave a comment on what you experienced.

“You create your thoughts, your thoughts create your intentions, & your intentions create your reality.” – Wayne Dyer


Before you reach the phase of your transition where you feel you are “passing”, you might have a battle in your mind and this nervous feeling in your chest anytime you exit the safety of your home and venture out into the world around you. You go into Starbucks for your Venti Soy Salted Caramel Frap with no whip and the thought, “Is the cashier looking at me funny? Does she know I’m a guy, or do I look too feminine today? I knew I shouldn’t have worn this tight shirt…you can see my binder! Oh God…” And while your inward mind is speed racing through these thoughts, what exactly do you think your projecting outward? The cashier can feel your energy and knows something is “off” whether they realize it has to do with your gender or not. They feel negative vibrations.

I remember testing this years ago. I went to a restaurant and kept my mind in “fear mode” the entire meal and with every interaction with the server. I was called ‘ma’am’ without question…and, mind you, at the time I was passing most everywhere else. I didn’t say a word to the server and purposefully did not correct them. Two months later, wearing the same outfit, I went back into the same restaurant and by a stroke of luck got the same server. This time, I erased all thinking with my gender and instead focused on other topics with whom I was at dinner with: My job, their love interest (latest crisis), planning a weekend getaway…and of course, what I wanted to eat…’Did I want to try something new? How about the beef? Nah…red meat hits my stomach like a brick. Salmon? Hmm…better idea tonight. I brought mints…no worries of fish breath.’ The server all night long called me ‘sir’ without flinching, squinting or pausing.


“We receive exactly what we expect to receive.” – John Holland


You’re a superhero. You have powers. Envision what you want in life…who you want in your life…what you want to become…AND THEN, go ahead and speak things that aren’t as if they already are. Manifest, manifest, manifest, and manifest. Need a definition?

Manifest: (use it as a verb)  to display or show (a quality or feeling) by one’s acts or appearance; to demonstrate.

Also, very importantly, surround yourself with positive people who lift you higher. Put up a personal shield against anyone who tries to project their negative energy on you. Do NOT soak it in. Do NOT let anyone else define you. Do NOT entertain their same thoughts.


“Science and psychology have isolated the one prime cause for success or failure in life. It is the hidden self-image you have of yourself. Self-image creates our paradigm, which creates our vibration which creates our results and circumstances in life.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Psychology, Support, Transitioning

Power & Control: How (not) to be a Man

Time to get a grip on how we react.

In just a few moments of your time today, I would like to help you redefine your perception of how we should be as men…to our partners, families, friends, workplace and community. To some, this will not be an epiphany as they read along. To others, I hope it opens your eyes.

Recently, I was provided a list of actions that are considered “abusive” behavior. As I scanned the list, I was amazed at some of the items…considering, most people I know would be abusive per this list. I then saw a bigger picture and reality. If the majority of us do things that hurt others, the effect we are having on them always finds a way to come back full circle.

“Life is like an echo. What we send out, always comes right back.” – Chinese Proverb


I am personally guilty of some of these abusive behaviors. I have nothing to hide and I hope you can learn some things from my own experiences.

We do not think of ourselves as abusers because we JUSTIFY or MINIMIZE our actions due to the actions of the other person. What we need to realize is WE CANNOT CHANGE our partners, we can only change ourselves and be accountable for what WE do. It doesn’t matter if they are calling you names, you don’t have to call names back. I have come to a point in life where I think that those who fight the hardest to win an argument are truly the biggest losers.

We as men need to create SAFETY, not have a persona of stopping whatever behavior threatens our “authority” – we see aggression as being a natural part of being a man, and that our “superior status” gives us the right to use that aggression to dominate and control women..and others.

DO NOT BLAME YOUR T-SHOTS. Be accountable for your actions. I have been on T now for 5 months and I have not once blamed anything I have said or done on T. Do I feel more assertive? Sure! Yet, that is no excuse or justification to be an asshole.

We need to be loving, supportive and respectful. We need to be self-less, not selfish in our motives, thoughts and actions. We need to have integrity and be role models to our future generations.

It is NOT okay to lose our cool and have short fuses. I have been practicing this while driving. Where I live is NUTS with traffic and most people that live here shouldn’t have a drivers license. Lately, when someone cuts me off and I feel the urge to wave my Italian arm in the air and yell out, “You stupid idiot!!!!”, I now honk my horn and keep my mouth shut. Oh, and I have stopped honking my horn for, like, 5 minutes at the person. I had a wonderful habit of doing that. I’d get really fired up and lay on my horn for an uncomfortable amount of time. FACT: I have cut people off and most of the time it has been unintentional and I felt awful about it. Who’s to say these people just didn’t see me? We are human. We make mistakes. We need to realize this, stop stressing out, and move on.


High stress increases your blood pressure, increases cortisol (hormone that adds tummy fat), and makes your body more at risk to be unhealthy. Stress is not healthy. It is the precursor for many horrible things you don’t want.

To top that off, when we react instead of respond, we put the other person’s health at risk.


You can listen in on a typical day at the playground and hear kids bullying other kids who aren’t aggressive or dominant and show more signs of passivity. They pick on them and call them all sorts of names like “faggot”, “wuss”, “p*ssy”, to demoralize them. Notice, most names these young boys are called usually relate to women. It is ingrained early on that for a man to be thought of in any way as a woman is degrading. *Just wanted to point that out*

I remember when I was a child, yelling and screaming TERRIFIED me. It made me feel scared inside and I wanted to go hide. As I grew up…I then adopted that behavior and felt like the louder I could get, the more I would be heard. I just really wanted to make sure I was heard and understood and even felt my reasoning was completely justified and rational. In turn, I wasn’t listening to the other person. I heard very little, made my assumptions and then defended my own reality and perception.

Why am I disclosing my own dirt? Because it is dirt MANY people have and I’m doing a complete makeover with the new revelations I have been receiving and it is time for all of us to clean up our lives so we can truly live and not be overshadowed by deception of how we should be as men.

I want to respect others, listen to them and value their feelings as I value my own. I want to respond calmly to things that usually strike a nerve and irritate me. I want to bite my tongue when I feel “triggered” and only respond in a loving way, or walk away until I can. I want to be the best husband and father I possibly can be.


It is just a fact. People who are hurt, hurt others. And when you are hurting, you are so wrapped up in your own hurt that you fail to realize there is another person right in front of you that is also hurting. We have this reptilian brain of “flight or fight” and forget to pass through the passive pathway of “cognitive thinking” and take the quick pit stop of “REACTION” … which is never the right exit to get off at. Most of the time we react, it is out of our own hurt and fear. Usually, when you feel something intense in a not-so-nice-way, you are either going to cry, lash out, or retreat.

I feel the time has come for men to embrace a sense of self in which they can provide safe environments and validation of others.

Lastly, I am providing you with the list I was given recently. Some of these are extreme, some might surprise you.

Violent and Controlling Behavior Checklist
Physical Violence
____ Slap, punch, grab, kick, choke, push, restrain, pull hair, pinch, bite
____ Rape (use of force, threats to get sex)
____ Use of weapons, throwing things, keeping weapons around which scare her
____ Abuse of furniture, things in the home, pets, destroying her things
____ Intimidation (standing in the doorway during arguments, angry or threatening gestures, use of size to intimidate, standing over her, outshouting, driving recklessly)
____ Uninvited touching
____ Threats (verbal or nonverbal, direct or indirect)
____ Harassment (uninvited visits or calls, following her around, checking up on her, embarrassing her in public, not leaving when asked)
____ Isolation (preventing or making it hard for her to see/talk to friends, relatives, others)
____ Other (please list)

Psychological and Economic Abuse
____ Yelling, swearing, being lewd, raising your voice, using angry expressions or gestures
____ Criticism (name-calling, swearing, mocking, put-downs, ridicule, accusations, blaming, use of trivializing words or gestures)
____ Pressure Tactics (rushing her to make decisions, using guilt/accusations, sulking, threatening to withhold financial support, manipulating children, abusing feelings)
____ Interrupting, changing topics, not listening, not responding, twisting her words, going on and on
____ Economic coercion (withholding money, the car, or other resources; sabotaging her attempts to work)
____ Claiming “the truth,” being the authority, defining her behavior, using “logic”
____ Lying, withholding information, infidelity (having sex with others)
____ Using pornography (e.g., magazines, movies, strip shows, home videos, etc.)
____ Withholding help on childcare/housework; not doing your share or following through on your agreements
____ Emotional withholding (not expressing feelings, not giving support, validation, attention, compliments, respect for her feelings, rights, and opinions)
____ Not taking care of yourself (not asking for help or support from friends, abusing drugs or alcohol, being a “people-pleaser”)
____ Other forms of manipulation (please list)

(Adapted from EMERGE, Boston, Massachusetts)

“Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing.”


Filed under Spout Out, Support