Two Brave Transmen Speak Out

The following letter is written by Nathaniel Joseph in regards to the blogger/vlogger known as “Dirt”. His letter was deleted from her blog “The dirt from Dirt”. We are posting his letter here, since we at TQ Nation promote being visible, taking a stand, having a voice and not falling prey to the fear of silence.

The type of hate mongering you display breaks my heart. The reality is that an overwhelming majority of the LGB community loathe us. It’s crazy how intolerance and hate can come from those who experience it themselves. So much of this seemingly comes from your own insecurities and fears about your gender and sex being invalidated. Transmen are not implying that butch females are Trans or desire to be male (or are male in our cases). We are not saying that you aren’t valid and beautiful in your own gender and sex. Many of us adore butch dykes for great reason. Your prejudice frustrates me to no end! It’s beyond me as to why you care so much about our lives and bodies.

The intolerance and prejudice that you show Transmen is the same intolerance and prejudice that heterosexuals show you as a butch dyke. If you are cis gender and butch be proud and speak your truth; I will defend you until my dying day, but don’t try and tell me what my truth is. There is a time that I prayed everyday for years not to be Trans, because I had found a way to be accepted as a butch dyke who championed for butch females. I knew that my being Trans wouldn’t be accepted in the same way. But I couldn’t ignore it, and like so many, tried to end my life because this burden was so painful. We all know this isn’t an easy road, and wouldn’t choose it if we indeed had a choice (sound familiar Ma’am?).

Our haters think that being Trans is just something we jump into because we are uneducated or easily influenced. This is real! Transsexuals have existed as long as humans have. You, and your disciples, perceive transitioning as trendy because people are more public about it now. How many people think they don’t know Trans folk? The overwhelming majority. We know the reality is that they probably do, they just aren’t aware of them. It’s akin to the heteronormative labeling homosexuality a trend; gays have existed as long as humans have too! And, as with Trans people, the gays stopped hiding it as much and stood up for their civil and human rights (as they should!). There aren’t any more homosexual’s today than there were in the days of forced closets (which I realize still exist for many people).

Furthermore, how dare you generalize me and my brothers as misogynistic and anti-feminist! Does it exist in our community? Yes. But, it also exists amongst cis gender females and lesbians. And in both cases, I assure you, we as a community do not tolerate it. We were socialized female, many of us fought a long side you and will continue to do so. We understand the plight of being female in a patriarchal society with a vengeance towards women. We aren’t weak. We didn’t wake up one day and simply decided it’d be easier to fight as Transmen than Butch women, that is absurd. We live and fight in queer communities, as queers ourselves. Moreover, all your arguments leave out gay Transmen, Transmen who identified as Femme lesbians prior to transition, Transmen who identified as straight prior to transition, and those of us who were over 25 when we started transitioning. It is also apparent that you have disdain for heterosexuals, men, and well any non-lesbian. Yes, many have and do commit acts of hate upon us, but degrading them for their inherent sexuality and/or sex and gender is the same as them doing it to you!

Lastly, I am sickened by your McCarthy hearing, witch hunt exploits. Slapping picture of Transmen across your blog in line up form to gawk and spew hatred at is juvenile, appalling and slimey. If someone wants to do this to Butch Dykes to point and laugh at their bodies is it okay with you? You disgust me Ma’am! At this point, I am so angry and disgusted by your hate that I cannot set aside my pain and rage to be able to sway you any longer. You are just another illustration of how hate can invade even the minority and “liberal mind set.” We did not betray you, we honored ourselves.

Next, is an email I received from Elliott L.

So, I was bored and I went to the beginning of the whole “I hate transpeople and all men in any way shape or form” blogger’s blog and I think perhaps she was somehow friends or friends of friends or maybe involved with the lady whom got murdered from the community by her trans lover.. Of course, that one link that the person gave you (which was the first link I saw to “Dirt”s blog) mentioned that transmen rape and murder people (which really – what social circle doesn’t have a few rapists and/or murderers? Which, is sad, but true.) So, being as bored as I was I read up on that, and while reading this “Dirt” person’s blog, there’s a lot of links between “Dirt” and people that BrainyFemme (the lady who was murdered) was friends with or talked to and “Dirt”.

Kind of interesting, though probably useless information – I guess what I am trying to say here is – Yes, this “Dirt” person probably disliked trans people from the start, but I think that maybe the possibility of her being friends with the person who was murdered by her FTM husband was something that made her start spewing extra hate. So maybe the reason she thinks we all suck is because one single and uncommon event sparked a catalyst?

For the GLBTQQAAII community, it seems that even though we’re all fighting to end society’s hate upon us there’s a ton of inner hate within the community as well and it seems to never really be issued or it’s denied.

So; in essence we’re fighting outer hate, while being bashed and drowned down by inner hate by the umbrella of the GLBTQQAAII community (not only trans people, but all sub groups of the umbrella community) which is then taken a bit lower by sub group hate (trans people saying other trans people are not trans enough or bisexuals not being gay or straight enough or lesbians not being butch or femme enough or whatever) so really, it comes down to this: As a community, we’re all killing ourselves by not really understanding that there’s no true definition of sexuality or gender; yes there’s an “average” but it seems that a lot of people like to think that they know what the definition is.

Sorry for this whole weird word vomit but it seemed interesting and I had something to say in the beginning. lol. I GUESS what I am trying to say is – Do you think there’s a way that we as a community, can stop trying to define things and start trying to live upon the basis of everyone’s different and whatever works; works – and what works for one may not work for another one? And maybe perhaps try to get all communities under the GLBTQQAAII type thing to band together and stop hating on eachother so damn much?

Not necessarily asking you for the true solution – seeing that it’s a problem I think just one person or a few people would have too much of a burden to fix by their lonesome – but I guess it’s something to muse and think upon mayhaps?


Post your comments, thoughts & concerns…



Filed under Spout Out, Support, Transitioning

9 responses to “Two Brave Transmen Speak Out

  1. The Etch

    Hey guis. I write an anti blog that gives logical arguments against her blogs.
    Check me out if you wish

  2. Hey guys, myself and many friends have been targeted. If you have a moment, please lend support to this site i have set up in relation to dirtywhitebio67

  3. With someone as hate-filled and irrational as Dirt seems to be, logic and reasoning go out the window. Satire and parody, on the other hand, can sometimes make a dent.

  4. jay

    dirtywhite…..BOI (?)
    The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

  5. Hey you all!

    Brandon sent me the links, and I read this “Dirt’s” blog, and I have to say her name fits and not in a very complementary manner. I also left a comment, that she did not post because a few things bothered me. Not only the Transmen issues she has, but also she had things about PCOS which I have.

    I sent my comments to Brandon, I’ll see if he still has it in his email, and send it on to you. I tried to speak to her in an intelligent, and logical manner, but I suppose she doesn’t want intelligent and logical as her motives seem emotional and irrational. When someone allows emotions to turn to a negative, they can have no peace in life.

    If her motives are because a dear friend was murdered, why not take that precious life and make it shine instead of spewing enough hate to be venomous and poison? The concept of hate from hurt just befuddles me, as it is not a way to remember someone in a positive light and share whom they were as a human being.

    While I know nothing of the tragedy that seems to have spurred her on, I can say this. One thing this Dirt needs to remember, if she is coming at this from the standpoint of the murder, is that every community, race, color, creed and national origin has horrific acts happen. Yet in most organized countries such as the US, they don’t blame it on someone’s color. Do they as a defense or point of prosecution use it against someone? No, they don’t. So why would she blame this murder on the Transman for being a Transman?

    Prejudice is prejudice, hate is hate. No matter how you try to disguise it.

  6. Amon.Beck

    I think I want to throw up a little. I’m so thankful I didn’t find that blog when I was still new to the T-community. I don’t know how she would have screwed me up or make me question my identity even more.
    I’m a young FTM and even I can tell you that I know who I am. I’m a feminist and I believe we all deserve equal rights regardless of race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, and gender identity. I’m so glad I know that the community I’m trusting myself to believe this woman is wrong and is speaking out against her.
    I ran away from people like her when I thought I was gay. Then I realized I was bi-sexual. Even thought I was some derivative of butch for a while.
    Basically, it’s already a terribly hard road trying to figure what the heck is going on in your head, hoping your friends and family will still love you if you come out different, trying to figure out how to pay for everything, AND then have some HATEMONGER sit there and tell you that you’re trash and f****ed up in the head. AFTER SITTING THERE AND FINALLY THINKING YOU FIGURED IT OUT.
    Ugh, it makes me sick. It makes me upset. It makes me so happy I’m not like her.

  7. RedRightAnkle

    @Jaice, I’ve read through the blog and she makes it pretty clear that she thinks ALL trans people are confused/wrong/a puppet of the patriarchy. Proselytizing to transmen just seems to be her cause celebre.

    She seems to hold the “gender as performance” stance which has often been used by some rad fems to discredit and oppress trans people. Though this usually tends to manifest itself in hatred more towards transwomen who are viewed as trying to “infiltrate” women’s only spaces.

    I just think people like that often forget there’s a difference between gender ROLES (which in many ways can be a performance) and ones actual internal gender (which simply exists, regardless of genitalia, or whether your body matches, or what gender roles you may or may not exhibit.)

    Anyway, as someone who identifies strongly as a feminist I absolutely hate when others try to use feminism as a tool of oppression. That is NOT my feminism. And while reading that blog was beyond upsetting, I want to thank TQ for bringing it to light.

  8. Jaice

    Does she not feel the same way towards trans women?

    • Nichotal

      She does have a problem with Trans women as well invading ‘Female places’ as she hates trans gender people and doesn’t give respect to their gender identity and views them as men invading women’s space

      But she seems to have a special place in her hate filled brain from trans guys and supporters.

      She really is some piece of work like. If someone like her in the LGBT community can spout hate worse than most heteronormative straight conservatives that really says something about her mind.

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